You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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