This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
