He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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