Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
