My nipple is on Facebook.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
