Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
