its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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