just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
