sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
