i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
