She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
