i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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