But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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