i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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