i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
