super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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