his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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