i think i have herpe
just one?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize