You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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