I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
