This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
