So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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