Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need water and some morals
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
