Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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