My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
