I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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