Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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