Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
