can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
