My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
