Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She's the barista slut.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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