did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
