the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
