that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
