Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize