my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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