I just pynch a tree in the face
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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