chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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