What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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