oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
