Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm passing your future prison.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
tell me about the fingering
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