It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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