If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize