I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize