Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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