garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize