real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
