Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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