would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
