have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
no, he came in my armpit
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
