We're facebook friends in real life
honey bunches of taint.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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