You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I believe in your delicious
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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