I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
