I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
