dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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