So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
