she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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