I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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