her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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