At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize