I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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