i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
