The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
