are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
